I've realized how fickle my control over myself in the aspects of my conscience and my emotions.
Knowing how I try to endure all my struggle with no sense of relief has caused me to see that I've hardened myself.
Having had told you so much and letting some of this sustained storm pass I've begun to see that sharing woe isn't always a bad thing given that person is willing to lighten some of the weight.buts its not really about sharing it. It was coming to the conclusion that my approach to handling my problems was naive and improper.
I've got the power of communication given the right listener so why not select the listeners that determine my happiness?
Not confronting, but approaching.. in general. I wanted the chance without making the efforts. and when I made the effort, but wasn't seeing the results I intended or expected.
I collapsed.
and that was last week...
I'm now eighteen years old. I want the respect of an adult, but I wasn't going to get it acting like a child.
and so from last night. from now on.
I've got to step out of my comfort zone, and man up to my responsibilities as well as my problems. Finding compromise, within reason. and learning to communicate better.
Change.. It scares me, but its the only way to make things different...
This seems like a journal entry..
its my blog I can write what I want.
although I do miss creative writing.
sometimes always,
J
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