I feel like I used to be so much more positive. Now the weight on my chest is heavier than my slow dying breath. Stimulated and vindicated. at the edge of a territorial and tentative heart lies the overall incumbency of a structural monstrosity based on gamma versatile jealousy and the torrential debut of its sharpening and treacherous overthrow. stolen hearts and stolen minds, that's what we are now. I saw her last week just as heart trembling and beautiful as ever. but what was the account that it would ever amount to anything but a shallow glimpse of the ever present integrity we once held in the confines of our hollow bodies. I’m becoming unruly comfortable with my negligence to others. I guess, I embrace the thought of being alone. "The only person you can ever truly depend on is yourself. I wake up to myself every day and fall asleep to myself every night, and I’m always going to be there, as long as I’m alive, I can’t say that for anyone else." Have I love yet to give to such a cruel intended world? Of course, but at the expense of my own virtue being taken miscellaneously from the loosened grip of my worn hands. So I swore to my deprivation that I wouldn’t let it take what’s left. And I burned the hands of those holding me down. But when you get out there, it’s hard to enjoy freedom when you are completely and entirely alone.
So from a radius of an innocent observer my social graces seem suffice, but if you could get a glimpse of my eyes, though dull and shallow. You’d think, he may as well have been weeping. I can’t get away from the blood on my hands.
One cigarette tonight...
no dreams. I'm awake with closed eyes.
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